Yesterday I was having a pity party day.  I’d just had enough.  I didn’t want to clean anymore.  I didn’t want to make anybody’s meals.  I didn’t want to play silly three year old games.  I didn’t even want to talk to my husband, really.  I wanted to do whatever the hell I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it, without having to think about how it would affect anybody else.

I was having one of those “I miss my freedom” days.

So, after the kids went to bed, I left.  I had to run to the store to get some things anyway, so I went to Macy’s first and bought a hat and a top.  A little retail therapy often goes a long way with me.  Sad, but true.  Even if I don’t buy anything, which I often don’t.  I just like being in the shops with all of those lovely things.  No messes to clean up, no toys, no kid stuff, only lovely new things perfectly placed in a perfect little retail world.

Anyway, I think my pity party started  because I was looking at travel blogs and also blogs of young(er), childless people who live near beaches and go out and drink wine with friends and do all of those wonderful things you can do whenever you want when you don’t have kids.

I got sucked in and started thinking of days gone by when we traveled all over and didn’t have a care in the world other than where we were going next or where we were going to go have a beer that night or who we were going to meet where or this is my fave one…which beach to go to on the weekend.  Oh how I miss living near the beach.

I get this way in Spring.  I want to go and soak up the sun and drink margaritas on restaurant decks in the afternoon with friends, preferably overlooking water, but it’s not a requirement.

So, just feeling a little tied down and sorry for myself for no good reason.  It happens.

My husband asked me last night if I had the travel bug.  Nope…it’s not that I want to travel, although I do.  It’s the freedom bug.  I miss that freedom.  But then, I know that I would miss my boys FAR more than anything else, so I get over it.

I just need a break.  A time out.  Away from kids.

So today, I will ring a babysitter to see if she’s free tomorrow night.  Then, I will pack up my boys, get outside for a walk and soak up some sun.  Both will do me a world of good and I will be back on track to play silly three year old and 8 month old games for hours on end once more.

What do you do to feel re-energized and ready to face parenthood again?

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04/17/2009 | Life as Mom.

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