I will be taking a hiatus from all things bloggy, both writing and reading, until I feel like I can do something more than half-ass and feel good about it and myself again.  If you knew me at all, you would know that by even making such a statement that I’m having some problems.  I have always been a very confident, capable and organized person.

Over the last four years of staying at home with my two boys, I have lost something…and it’s finally coming to a head.  Maybe I just need a few days off or maybe I need go go back to work.

What I need, I am not sure.  But, there it is.  I am not sure when or if I will be back to this blog.  I need to get back to what is real for me.   And right now, that means getting offline.

Thanks for reading and making comments.  I will probably see you at some point in the comments section of your blogs, if you have one, soon.

Related posts:

1. Spending Less and Earning Extra
2. Feeling Scattered

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Is it just me or are October and November always really busy months?  I have been getting more and more stressed at the mounting things I need to get done by December.  I tick one thing off the list and something else gets added.

I am amazed at how so many mom bloggers out there are able to keep up with it all and their blogs too.  There are a lot of amazing women out there.   And honestly, if my neighbor, who has four children, brings me baked goods one more time…well, actually, I will thank her profusely as she a brilliant baker and just continue to call her supermom behind her back.

Went to a pumpkin farm last weekend.  Got two pumpkins.  It’s was beautiful on Saturday and a perfect day to spend outside on a farm.  Crap on Sunday.  But that’s okay.  I went to the mall and actually started my Christmas shopping.  Mind you, I detest Christmas shopping.  And for those of you with tween girls, I found this fabulous light up journal at Justice.  So cool.  And lots of 50% stuff at Barnes and Noble.

But, I digress.

We are keeping it simple this Christmas.  Just a few toys and books.  And low stress.  Planning on getting nearly everything I can off of Amazon.  Shipped right to my door.  It’s always cheaper than the shops anyway, plus I don’t have to drive or be around mad shoppers.  Perfect.

Also started looking for a few plane toys for our trip.  Found this cool mini eye spy game on Etsy.  Think I will get it for the trip home since it’s a day flight (14 hours from Brisbane to LA).  Flying over is at night, so fingers crossed there will be some sleeping…at least for the kids if no one else.  If all else fails, there are always movies and walking around the plane.

Having my bi-annual clothing swap this coming Saturday morning.  Siked.  Think we will have more clothes/participants than we did in the Spring.  I’m hoping to find a decent pair of jeans.  Will be making some muffins and my co-host is making sausage balls and limosas (champagne and grapefruit juice).  Yum!

But there are so many things going on, I’ve started running again in a feeble attempt to beat down the stress.  I feel enormously snowed under right now and running is the only way I can clear my head.  Doesn’t get anything done unfortunately, but at least I’m feeling a little better and getting in better shape.  And it’s helping me sleep, which I wasn’t doing a great job of before.

Now, if only I hadn’t bought that bag of cashews at Trader Joe’s, I might actually lose that leftover baby tummy that keeps hanging around.

How do you manage it all when activities and ‘to do’s’ start piling up?

Image by Cindy Funk

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One friend of mine made a comment regarding blogs that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.  It pops into my mind every now and then and I keep turning it over and over in my mind.

“I’m too busy living my life to then go home and write about it”.

Now, she was not saying this to be condescending at all.  She is an extremely active, single person.  One of the busiest I know, in fact.  Busy in the sense that she works a lot, she has a ton of friends, and she is always involved in some project or festival or event or whatever that is going at the moment.

But, her comment got me to thinking.  Thinking about all the projects I want to tackle and the photography class I want to take and how I want to get back into making jewelry and all sorts of other things that have been on my ‘to do’ list for ages (like sewing…it’s been a new year’s resolution going on so many years that I finally dropped it this year).

So, I’ve been thinking…..am I trading doing for writing about what I want to do?

Maybe I spend too much time reading blogs…and why do I do this?  Is my own life not exciting enough?  Why am I not taking enough time to spend with the friends I have in my own backyard?  What is not fulfilling me in my own life that I seek out living vicariously through others through blogs?

We went to cabin with 3 other families this weekend and had the BEST time.  I can honestly say that I didn’t think once about any type of computer, blog, facebook, email or anything.  The interest wasn’t there as I was too busy having fun.

I think I need more of that and less of this.  I’m just not sure how to get there from here.

I wonder if anyone else out there in blogland ever feels the same?  Then, maybe that’s why there are so many abandoned blogs out there.

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My husband and I were talking about this the other night.  I was thinking of starting our son soon with chores where he will get a small allowance, like a quarter, for doing certain things.  He will be four next month.

But then, I also don’t want him to expect money for everything he does, like cleaning up his toys when he makes a mess.  I want him to understand that some things are expected simply for being part of a family.

When I was growing up, I had an allowance.  I can remember getting one in fourth grade, but can’t remember about before then.  I remember having to clean my room and the bathroom (along with my sister) on Saturday morning in order to get my allowance.

But, I also made my lunch everyday and did my own laundry starting that year as well.  But those were not connected to my allowance, but more to needing to eat at school and wear clean clothes.   My Mom did her laundry, my Dad did his and my sister and I did our.  Interesting set up, now that I think about it, but both my parents worked and it worked for us.

I do believe in an allowance.  I believe it helps kids understand that you often need to save up for something you want and that you have to work to do that.  I used my allowance to go roller skating nearly every week.  If I wanted to go every week, I had to pay for it.  That was the deal.

I also like the idea of matching funds for something big, like a car.  The, you save up $2000 and I’ll match it to help you buy a car, sort of thing.   Or maybe for putting money in a Roth IRA or something.  What they put in, I match.  I like these ideas….incentives for saving.

So, I’m wondering…what kinds of chores are best for four year olds?  And do you have chores that are done because they are part of the family and then chores that are separately tied to allowance?

I do

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The cake turned out great though!  I was so happy with it.  It was blue and white in the shape of a #1.  So sweet!

I still have my oldest son’s party to get through in a month.  It will be the first party where we invite friends from his pre-school.  It will be complete chaos I’m sure.  And, we are having it at home.  Not sure if that is a wise choice, but I don’t want to change the date if it rains or transport the cake that I plan to make, so we will just hope for the best.

Not sure where everyone is going to eat cake, but I will deal with that later.  Maybe I can borrow a picnic table or something.

We are going to a cabin in a couple of weeks for a friend’s daughter’s 7th birthday.  My friend gave her the choice of gifts or doing something.  She chose doing something without a 2nd thought.  So, they rented a cabin that has 3 bedrooms and sent out an open invitation to others to ether stay in one of the 2 extra bedrooms, get their own cabin or tent camp, or just visit for the day, since it’s a National Park.

I think this is a SUCH a great idea and am definitely going to start doing this as my boys get older.  I love the idea of teaching them to recognize that experiences with friends and family are more valuable that stuff and that there is often a trade off.

We are having a ‘no presents’ party anyway for the friends.   Big D will get enough from family to warrant anything else from others.   That’s a hard one for me though since he loves giving gifts.  I sort of feel like I’m depriving his friends of giving him something if they want to, but I would really love it if they just made him a card we could keep in his scrapbook.  Maybe I will mention that on the invitation in a cute poem or something.

Is there something special or a tradition that you do for birthdays with your kids?

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The study “ranked Australia as the least egalitarian society, making it’s men unattractive marriage partners because they were more unlikely to do household chores“.

Personally speaking, this is NOT true of my Aussie hubby, who does so much to help out that I often feel I need to step it up a notch myself.  My friends use him as an example to their own husbands in arguments (it’s true, I’ve heard it!).  I’m a lucky woman.

And, he is super sexy with his sexy Aussie accent, but I digress…..

There were lots of responses to the article, some agreeing, some claiming other nationalities were worse, but this was my favorite response:

“Suits me fine. When the computer crashes, the car breaks down, the pay cheque disappears, the lawns need mowing – seeding -fertilizing -watering, the hedges need trimming, the dogs cleaned up after, car washed and cleaned, car tyres changed, repairs around the house to be done and gutters cleaned, I will keep my bum planted on lounge and she can do all those chores when she is done with hers. How many men were in the survey, or was it all women?”

Obviously this is not going to apply to all married households.  Like those with dual incomes or where the women truly do everything (why did you marry that guy anyway?), but I think it applies to many.

Most of the married men I know do the majority of the outside work (yard, gutters, house maintenance, etc), car work/washing, repairs (inside/out), and other things like dead animal duty, spider catching, or like in my house, things with just a general ‘ick’ factor.

I think because married women are so focused on the everyday chores of the kitchen, laundry, bathroom, toy pickup, making dinner, taking care of children, etc…we forget about the plethora of other things that we don’t do.

When one of our single, female neighbors emailed me and a bunch of others about the best type of mouse traps to get, I had to ask my husband.  And, I was thinking how glad I am that I don’t have to deal with that myself.

When our washing machine backed up and water got all over the basement (while washing icky cloth diapers mind you!!), my husband cleaned it all up and did a bleach wash on the floor.  Again, happy I didn’t have to deal with that one!

And, I can tell you, after the dead animal duty that my husband had to deal with yesterday morning, he has definitely earned his keep for a while.

But, then he cleaned the bathroom last night after the kids were in bed and I didn’t even ask him to!  I’m a lucky girl I tell you!!

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• I need to go to bed so I can read more of Twilight.  I’ve only read two chapters, yet I’ve been thinking about Edward Cullen all day.  I have a feeling this is going to be the beginning of a book obsession.

• I hope the new 50mm lens for my camera that I impulsively ordered today comes before Little C’s birthday this weekend.  I am freaking that he is ONE on Friday and feel the need to capture every smile, cry, laugh, dance….how is he one already, I ask you???

• Should we try for a third baby?  My mind, tolerance level, desire to have more of so many things (time…for me, my husband, my current children, my friends, learning, reading, travel, etc) are all telling me NO!  Yet, I still keep thinking about it.  This, from a person who had no intention of having three children and who has boxes of baby clothes packed in boxes ready to be sent off to friends.  Sigh.

• I really need to use that i-tunes voucher that I was given for Christmas 2 years ago.

• I should also attempt to figure out how to work an mp3 player, among other things.  I’ve turned into my Mother.  I could never understand, when growing up, how she couldn’t program the VCR.  Now I get it.  I married a person in IT, therefore I don’t need to know that stuff.  So, I don’t.

• I also need to fold the laundry that has been sitting in baskets in my living room for days now.  Ridiculous.

• I’m nervous about making my first ‘shaped’ cake.  I fully intend to make some icing tomorrow night to practice decorating.  Yum.  I also fully intend to eat some of said icing.

• If you haven’t tried Trader Joe’s Simpler Times beer, it is pretty damn good.  And, it’s high alcohol.  For $3.99 a six pack, that is NOT BAD!

• If you are in Australia and just read that last statement and are now bitching about the fact that alcohol is so f@#%ing expensive there, I feel ya.  It’s ridiculous.

• Now I really am going to bed.  Edward awaits.

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This year however, I have decided to go for it!  Our youngest is turning one in August, so I will practice with his cake.  I think I’m going to start basic and just go for a Number 1 cake, but try to get creative with the icing, since that is always my downfall.

Then, I’m hoping I will be ready in September for our older son’s party.  He wants a pirate theme, so I’m going to attempt a pirate ship cake!

I found this great parenting site that has 31 easy birthday cakes and exactly how to make them.  I think the pirate ship one looks pretty darn good and doable for this meager beginner.  I’m actually going to make two 9×12 cakes and use one for the base.  I’m going to ice it blue, like water.  Then, I will make another 9×12 cake for the ship and put it on top.  I’m going to find some pirate figures (I remember seeing some pirates in a tube at Joanne’s) to put on the ship and get some candy fish to put in the water.

I’m super excited and really hope it will work out!

If anybody has any ideas of what I can do with a bunch of kids at a pirate party, please let me know.  I was thinking of ordering pirate stickers and tattoos and also having my hubby dress up like a pirate and painting faces.

Find more tips at Works For Me Wednesday.

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But, what do you get a one-year old for his first birthday when you already have a TON of toys (which he doesn’t even really play with yet) and clothes waiting for him?

My Mom thinks my youngest needs his ‘own’ toys.  Huh?  Whatever.  I am trying to gently recommend alternatives to toys for gifts.

I know people just want to get something special for a 1st birthday, but it seems extra hard when we already have so much from our first child.  I am a big fan of getting things used and not getting something cutesy, just for the sake of getting something new.  I like a modern, uncluttered space, which of course is hard with kids.

So far I have come up with:

• books – though we have  a TON of these as well, but I am a book whore, so bring ‘em on.
• wooden teether – my ton still mouths everything and loves wooden things.
• pjs – always needs these
• plates/bowls for eating – something cute and special for his 1st birthday
• a special book with his name in the story
• a new ride on toy – I love these wheely bugs
• shirts with Australian animals on them are always a hit
• personalized items – he has a Scottish name that is impossible to find in the U.S., but it’s more common in Australia so our family can often find things with his name on them

Would LOVE to hear what works for you for first birthday gifts!

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Ever since Big D moved into his  “big boy” bed over a year ago, he has wanted someone (usually me) to lay down with him until he’s asleep.  Against my better judgment, knowing it would form a bad habit, I did it.  And, have been doing it for over a year.

Well, I’m done.  I’ve been over it for some time now, but now we are actually doing something about it.

We are bringing out the sticker reward chart and treasure box.

This is the same tactic that we used for breaking him of getting out of his own bed and coming into ours, which he started doing last year when I was pregnant with his brother.  As I got bigger, there just wasn’t enough room and we knew the baby would sleep with us at first, so we had to break him of coming into our bed.

Every morning that he was in his own bed, he got a sticker.  Once he filled up a row of stickers, he got a treat, like going out for ice cream.  It worked great!

We also used the sticker chart for potty training, but we stepped it up a notch and added a treasure box.  I bought a plain pirate treasure (thick cardboard) box from Hobby Lobby.  I painted it black and gold and glued “gems” onto it.  It looks pretty darn cool, if I do say so myself.  We put fun things in there like batman stickers, little toys, clay, Chinese yoyo, fruitabu and low-sugar candy.  The candy was by far the biggest hit, since he rarely ever gets any, so I bought more of that.

With potty training, he got 1 sticker for pee and 2 for going poo in the potty.  When he filled up a row (which didn’t take long), he got to pick something out of the treasure box.  Well, you’ve never seen a kid get so excited about a painted box, or going potty for that matter, let me tell you.

And so, last night, when I put him to bed.  I told him that from now on, he had to go to sleep on his own.  I am no longer going to lie down with him.  I told him he would get a sticker every time he went to bed on his own and could get treats from the treasure box.  He was super excited about this idea and didn’t fight me one bit.  Just turned over and went to sleep.  Woo hoo!

This morning the first thing he asked me about was the stickers and treasure box.  He negotiated three stickers for every time he went to sleep on his own, meaning after three sleeps, he gets to look in the treasure box.

Here’s hoping it goes well again tonight.

Do you have any good tips for getting your kids to do certain things?

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