Sometimes being a SAHM is very hard.  And lonely.  And it sometimes makes me feel like I’m boring.  I’m sure I’m not, but I often feel that way.

I often feel like I don’t have a lot to contribute to adult conversations since my days are spent playing pretend police and house games, changing poopy diapers, making snacks and lunches, and building with blocks.  This of course all while trying to fit in some emails, dishes, laundry, dinner, a shower (can I get an amen!?) and a dozen other things that fall to me from finances/bills to keeping track of family birthdays and events to just keeping the house moving along.

Then, after the day is done and long after I should have gone to bed, I stumble across this blog of a girl and her bucket list.  She has a GREAT list.  I’m into bucket lists lately and have even started my own.  I started reading some of what is on hers and realize that I have done many of the things on her list.

The feeling of having already done something that is on someone else’s bucket list is pretty heady.  It made me feel as if my life is not so boring after all.

I started to feel quite a bit better about myself.  And I started to think about how often things that I think are no big deal, others think are fantastic and vice versa.  For example, others think it’s great that I have traveled and lived overseas.  To me, it’s no big deal.  But the fact that my friend Anne can sew a dress!  Well, to me, that is amazing.  I can sew on a button.  By hand.  I can’t do sewing machines.  I have broken sewing machines before.  It’s not pretty.  I have wanted to learn to sew for as long as I can remember.   It’s very daunting to me, while to others it’s something they’ve been doing for ages and not a big deal.

So, no matter who you are and what might be on your bucket list, there is a very good chance that something you have done or can do, whether it be to travel, scrapbook, finish college, live in Manhattan, climb a mountain, go camping, sew a dress, knit a scarf, write a story, take a pottery class, save money with coupons, fly somewhere, cook Thanksgiving dinner, get out of debt, become a parent, skydive…whatever…it is more than likely on somebody else’s bucket list.

When I think about it that way, I’ve done and can do some pretty cool stuff.  And I’m guessing the same is true for you.

Okay, I’m a very straightforward person.  I am polite, but I prefer to tell it (and hear it) how it is.  I’m not into sugar coating.

I am not mean.  At least, I don’t think that I am.  I am sarcastic.  But, I don’t think bitingly so.

I was told today that I am abrasive.  This was from a person that I consider to be overly sensitive.  To the point that I often just don’t call or get off the phone quickly if we are heading towards certain topics, simply because it’s tiring having to watch my words all the time.

So, I am wondering, do you think that people who are straightforward are harsh or abrasive?  Would you rather someone just play nice-nice all the time and just tell you what you want to hear or would you prefer to hear their honest opinion, warts and all?

Do you think it’s abrasive to just say something outright or does it always need to be cached in soft words in order to soften the blow?

And, while we are on the subject, why is the straightforward (or supposed harsh) person always the bad guy?  Why is it never the sensitive person?  Why is sensitivity considered a good trait when it’s abused to the point that every tiny thing is upsetting?

Personally, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I find overly sensitive people annoying.  I think it’s more of a manifestation of being insecure about oneself or one’s choices.  I don’t tolerate that very well either.

I’m not saying I’m never insecure about my choices, since I’m almost always insecure about my choices, but I’m honest with myself about that and most other things.

If someone points something out that deep down I know to be true, I admit it.  Fair cop, I say.  Maybe it’s something I’ve not thought of.  Maybe I have thought of it, but I’ve rationalized it away with other reasons.  But again, at least I’m honest about why something might bother me opposed to just getting my sensitive back up.

My mother always said I’d make a great psychologist.  Did I mention I’m often sarcastic as well?

Thanks for reading my rant.  I will try to me more positive next post.

I was telling my “Aussie Bloke” husband about this article, calling them the ‘worst husband’s in the world‘, this morning because I thought some of the comments were especially interesting.

The study “ranked Australia as the least egalitarian society, making it’s men unattractive marriage partners because they were more unlikely to do household chores“.

Personally speaking, this is NOT true of my Aussie hubby, who does so much to help out that I often feel I need to step it up a notch myself.  My friends use him as an example to their own husbands in arguments (it’s true, I’ve heard it!).  I’m a lucky woman.

And, he is super sexy with his sexy Aussie accent, but I digress…..

There were lots of responses to the article, some agreeing, some claiming other nationalities were worse, but this was my favorite response:

“Suits me fine. When the computer crashes, the car breaks down, the pay cheque disappears, the lawns need mowing – seeding -fertilizing -watering, the hedges need trimming, the dogs cleaned up after, car washed and cleaned, car tyres changed, repairs around the house to be done and gutters cleaned, I will keep my bum planted on lounge and she can do all those chores when she is done with hers. How many men were in the survey, or was it all women?”

Obviously this is not going to apply to all married households.  Like those with dual incomes or where the women truly do everything (why did you marry that guy anyway?), but I think it applies to many.

Most of the married men I know do the majority of the outside work (yard, gutters, house maintenance, etc), car work/washing, repairs (inside/out), and other things like dead animal duty, spider catching, or like in my house, things with just a general ‘ick’ factor.

I think because married women are so focused on the everyday chores of the kitchen, laundry, bathroom, toy pickup, making dinner, taking care of children, etc…we forget about the plethora of other things that we don’t do.

When one of our single, female neighbors emailed me and a bunch of others about the best type of mouse traps to get, I had to ask my husband.  And, I was thinking how glad I am that I don’t have to deal with that myself.

When our washing machine backed up and water got all over the basement (while washing icky cloth diapers mind you!!), my husband cleaned it all up and did a bleach wash on the floor.  Again, happy I didn’t have to deal with that one!

And, I can tell you, after the dead animal duty that my husband had to deal with yesterday morning, he has definitely earned his keep for a while.

But, then he cleaned the bathroom last night after the kids were in bed and I didn’t even ask him to!  I’m a lucky girl I tell you!!

I love real estate.  Always have.  I love going to open houses on Sundays and looking at houses.  I love looking at what is for sale in my neighborhood (and in my old neighborhood in Australia) online.

My fave HGTV shows are Design to Sell, House Hunters (International), My First Place, Curb Appeal, etc.  I love those shows.

I used to always say to a friend of mine when we were in Grad School, that all I really wanted to do was sell real estate.  She wanted to own a flower shop.  Neither of us are doing these things.  Or what we went to grad school for.  Go figure.

So, why am I not selling or doing anything in real estate?  Well, a lot of has to do with real estate agents.  No offense if you are an agent, but so many of them are super smarmy, money grubbing, liars.  Not all, mind you.  I’ve met, and know (and are related to) a lot of nice ones.  But even still, very few will be up front and honest with you about a house.  They are trying to sell it or get you to buy it after all, which is what pays them.

This is the problem.  I know I couldn’t be that person.  I could not sit there, all smiley-faced, about a house, that some naive young couple is about to put all their hard earned money into, that had a bunch of problems that they were just to inexperienced to see…so I could make some money.   I couldn’t sleep at night doing that.  We have a very successful agent in our neighborhood that will tell you how wonderful a house is even if a wall fell down while you were looking it (“Oh, that can be easily fixed”, she would chirp merrily, the smile never leaving her face).  Can you tell how much I like her?

So, the other issue is being associated with that group of people, the unscrupulous ones.  It’s something I will have to get over if I want to try it though.  I will have to seek out the good ones and learn from them.

I could probably be a buyer’s agent, which is what we used when we bought our house.  A buyer’s agent doesn’t sell houses, they only help you buy one.  So, part of the double edge is gone.  You are not selling any houses.  You listen to a client and try to help them find the best one for them.  Our buyer’s agent was a big help to us.  He was older and pointed out things about houses we would have never thought about it.  Some things we were willing to live with, but at least we knew what we were getting.

If I had the design skills, I would love to be a stager.  I don’t know how many houses I’ve gone into where I think, “Don’t you watch HGTV?!”.  I mean, it’s crazy.  I helped my sister pack up and stage her house when they sold.  It wasn’t fancy, but it looked TONS better when we were done with it.

I would also love to try my hand at house flipping.  I live in a neighborhood that is full of that going on.  It can be pretty fast money if you do it right and price it to sell.  I see mistakes being made all the time, both in a house and with the pricing.  People get greedy and the houses just sit because the flippers don’t understand our neighborhood.  I am confident I could do a great flip…just not confident enough to put my money where my mouth is right now.

When our boys get older and are in school, I will probably look into pursuing these options a bit more.  It’s something I would love to try my hand at.  In the meantime, I will just keep watching the shows, practicing on my own house and learning.

What about you?  Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but aren’t doing?  Why not?

I recently stumbled upon this expat blog, Being More Through Having Less.  I LOVE the name of this blog and her regularly scheduled posts.  I really like reading expat blogs.  I love their adventures and although I am not on my own expat adventure right now, I can live vicariously through theirs and understand both their trials and excitement.

She was tagged for a Meme and invited others to do one to, so here’s mine.

Three…

… places I’ve visited: New York, NY;  Odense, Denmark; New Zealand (traveled around North Island)

… cars I’ve owned: Pontiac Sunbird (Sunny), Nissan pickup truck, Nissan Altima (we’ve owned 3 of these)

… foods I love: pizza, ice cream, calamari

… jobs I’ve held: Hostel manager in Chicago, receptionist (at LOTS of different places), Human Resources Benefits Specialist (managed 401k and health, dental, life, and disability insurance for employees)

… authors I love: Bryce Courtenay, J.K. Rowling, George R.R. Martin

… places I’ve lived: Knoxville, TN;  Edinburgh, Scotland;  Brisbane, Australia

… favorite hobbies: blogging, gardening, travel

… bones I’ve broken: None

… TV shows I watch: Lost, Gray’s Anatomy,  most anything on HGTV

… songs that make me turn up the volume:  Anything off Paul’s Boutique by the Beastie Boys (kickin’ it old school..yeah), Shake Your Groove Thing by Peaches and Herb also found on the Priscilla Queen of the Desert Soundtrack…highly recommended (lovin’ some some cheesy disco or brit pop dance music, yeah!)  , A Little Bit Lonesome by Kayce Chambers (I love twangy, old school country y’all and Kayce does is pretty well for an Aussie).

… favorite drinks: water, coffee, and right now I’m partial to margaritas

… fun board games: cranium, scene it, trivial pursuit

… stores I could spend a whole day in: Ikea (I have spent a whole day in here and drove 4 hours to get there!  I know, nuts!),  my fave garden nursery,  possibly Target…I have spent numerous hours in there I know.

… chores I put off as long as possible: mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom (actually this is my husband’s job but sometimes I do it), ironing

… chores I kind of like: is this a trick question?  okay, let me think…picking up/putting away toys/books; cleaning the kitchen; vacuuming (though we don’t have any carpet, only rugs)

… things I would rather chew glass than do: network, sell something I don’t believe in, hurt someone’s feelings.

… reasons I hate attending parties: Huh!?  I LOVE going to parties!

… favorite dog breeds: Maltese, Boxer, Poodle

… things I just don’t get: watching horror movies/shows with gratuitous violence (the world is scary enough, thank you very much);  idolizing celebrities, musicians or people seen on TV;  rich people who spend scads of money on material things with no regard to value, worth, or the help they could be providing to others with real needs.

I would love to read the list of anyone else who wants to make one!